Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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