I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
bring money and cleavage
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
