super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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