Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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