So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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