so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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