We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
