I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize