she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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