So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
