The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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