Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
