I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
