I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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