First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I understand Curling. That high.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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