That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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