I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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