I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
