HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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