There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
