Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
