she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
