Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was CRYING into my vagina
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize