she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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