then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hippo gnu deer
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
