so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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