VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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