i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
