so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
