As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
