I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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