So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The air was thick with penises
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize