Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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