lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
