How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
