i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize