Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
