Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
