well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
