i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
