I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
