mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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