I'm passing your future prison.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
