Just fell off a train. Bad.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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