I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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