I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
