its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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