no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize