So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize