He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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