Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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