Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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