my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
