I got chris browned last night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize