the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
