I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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