i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize