I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was confusing and full of hummus
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
