i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
