SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sober January is a disaster.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
