Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
