Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
