11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
