Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
