She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
