ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
