he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize