There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
