I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
