Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
