I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize