doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
