Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
