so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
