our cab driver is having phone sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
