I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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