Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
