I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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