I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
