Don't make out with my wife yet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
