Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
