that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize