the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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