You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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