not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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