I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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